went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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