you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
