Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
