is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
