The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
