yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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