Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh god it's open bar.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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