playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
