I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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