what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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