Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
