If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
