My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have post one night stand depression
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