Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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