haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize