Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
