how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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