so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize