he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
