Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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