so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize