You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
