Someone shit on the floor
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
