We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
