At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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