I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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