I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
