u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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