Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
