Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
