smell my finger.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
