if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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