Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
