Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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