So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Are we still banned from the library?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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