Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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