Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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