Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
honey bunches of taint.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
