What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
