good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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