it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
