How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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