so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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