His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
