hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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