Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
