Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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