Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
