I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
