guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
