I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
