im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
