I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize