we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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