We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
