An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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