biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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