she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
