your room smells of hookers.
And success
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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