I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Found your dick twin last night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
