But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
