well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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