She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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