Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
