I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
