Just cropdusted the office
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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