Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
