A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
