I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
