i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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