Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
